I stroked my upperarms, thinking of how soft and silky my skin was going to feel.All that I reckoned I could handle. What kept me from sleep was thebaggage that went with being female, so much of it stashed away in theplastic bags on the other side of the bedroom wall. It was one thing topicture myself as a girl climbing naked into the bath, quite another toput myself in the place of the same girl painting her face or steppinginto a skirt.Although I eventually drifted off, I rose next morning feeling tired andirritable. The usual Saturday breakfast noises floated up from thekitchen - the clunk of pans being lifted from their shelves, the screechof a kettle coming to the boil, the jaunty theme music introducing Radio4's travel show - and I resented every decibel. What right did they haveto sound the way they'd always done? Who told the universe it was fineto carry on as if nothing had happened?I stood at the window for a while, watching the frail autumn sunshinecolour the farmland on. "Oh it's not that I am tired; it is just what I have heard during the night!" She responded."Oh ok but what have you heard?" I asked."Let's put it this way?" She continued, "I do not appreciate working hard all night while other nurses have fun and games; when they should have been working!" She declared.Realising to what she was referring, I simply said, "Sounds like a touch of jealousy or sour grapes that you were not involved too!"The nurse never responded but seemed to storm out of the room banging the door as she did so. Two minutes later the ward sister came into my room and asked what had been said between me and the nurse that had just left. I simply told her that I had asked where Janet was and the nurse seemed to have an attitude about working the night shift; however I stated clearly that I had no intention of making any form of complaint as I accept that sometimes nightshifts can be stressful.The ward sister thanked me and promptly left; I finally settled down to my.
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