But that brought with it other concerns. If she stayed alive and out of prison, she would have to figure out how to provide for her family.She seemed to go through cycles of thought. First she reminded herself that they had, in the wagon, the tools and supplies necessary to establish a new home. She didn't know how to use some of them, but she could learn. She thought of what needed doing next, in pursuit of that. Then, as she contemplated what would be required of them, she lost hope and slid back into the abyss of self pity.Becky was still handling the team, going south toward the Oklahoma territory. They had been headed there anyway, and she had no better plan. Frank had never let her make a single decision after she was told to walk up the aisle to meet him on her wedding day. She'd never laid eyes on him before that day.Now, as she realized she'd never lay eyes on him again, she felt peculiar. That was because she felt guilty. And that was because, now that she'd had time to. It wasn't nearly as big or as fancy, but it wasn't a "starter home," either. It was 'way better than anything I had ever dreamed I would call "home."When we got to Portland, we readily accepted, this time, Roland's offer of accommodations. We were full of news for them about Japan, and The Contract, and Tess' pending appearances -- everywhere -- on television as spokeswoman for TESLA."In one of the commercials," she told Kim, "this good-looking man -- he's a dead-ringer for George Clooney, I swear to God! -- this man on the golf course says to me, 'Hey!... We're both using TESLA clubs!'... and I smile at him -- really flirty, and hold up my driver, push it right out, both hands, in front of his face, so the guy has to kind-of pull back a little, you know?... Like he's shocked?... And my driver has, where the TESLA logo is supposed to be, a big 'TESS-LA" logo, instead!" Everybody's gonna want clubs that say 'TESS-LA'," Kim said, laughing."Well, they're not actually selling them that.
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