What Ruth said next stopped all that. What she said next had me firmly stuck to my chair in surprise."What about that thing," she asked. All three were staring at me intently, "Do you miss the sex?"*This is one of those moments where time takes a rain check.The room was completely still. The only thing I could hear was the thudding of my heart which was lodged somewhere between my ears. Had I heard right? What the fuck did she just ask? I felt my mouth fall open in shock as her words rattled around inside my brain. Sex, dummy. She asked if you missed sex. How do you respond to a question like that?"Uh," I tried to say with some difficulty, "I'm not sure I understand."It was Sharon's turn to sit forward. She was closest to me and I sort of warily inched back in my chair."Ruth asked if you missed the sex with your girlfriend."Sex? What sex? We'd hardly done it. We'd tried. We both were no longer virgins but, well, it kind of got real complicated real fast and that, unfortunately, was. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don't care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?Take my advice — I'm not using it.My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.I.
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