And, oh my God, did he give me a great fuck. But rather than inviting him back to my hotel for more fun, which I definitely would have pursued today, I wiped off, zipped up and left. I still fantasize about what could have been that night. There were also three different evenings during my married years when I was either swapping or doing threesomes with married couples. Each time the other guy had a really nice cock and I know he would have welcomed some favors from me, but I didn’t do it (couldn’t) for fear of being thought of as gay by my wife. Of course, that was the 1970s and 80s. Here in the century twenty-one I know I'd have diddled them. In college I had several opportunities. One night when nineteen, I got drunk in a bar that turned out to be a gay drop late at night. I went with my boss whom later I learned was a gay. I got drunk but my friend Gary didn’t want to leave, so he arranged for a ride home for me and I was put into bed by a forty-ish friend of his who blurted. “I challenge you, Baron Bex Thresh of the Singularity Principalities ... to DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!”The Red Baron leaned back in his seat. Hardened metal groaned and wood creaked. His scaled hand cupped his narrow snout and smoke roiled from his nostrils. “Is it some kind of strategy game?” he asked, curiously. “Like Gateway?”“Uh, kind of,” Merton said, nodding.Oh no, no, no, no! Relix thought.“I accept,” the Red Baron said, grinning broadly.Merton was feeling like he had been grabbed by a rather large, three headed dog and then wrung through a huge mess of nerd-mashing machinery. His head and shoulders were studded with knots of tension, while his lower back twinged as if he had spent his whole day lifting boxes at the box factory. And the fact that he was still half certain that he wouldn’t live to get out of these smart-clothes before they decided to relocate his blood was just a delicious, terrifying cherry on the top of the longest, most unpleasant dinner conversation he had ever.
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