Young and dumb. As I’m finishing up my story, and the crowd is roaring with laughter, I hear this voice ring out and address me. It was the HS girl that took her home and I guess she had come back unbeknownst to me. The comment was, “THATS FUCKED UP. SHE WAS A VIRGIN. SHE CRIED ALL THE WAY TO HER DORMROOM.” Of course, the room fell into a somber silence and I felt like a major asshole. I sent flowers to her and left a few messages on her recorder, but never heard from her again. To my boys I was a legend, and they even invented an inside joke term, CORNPETER, which was thrown around by the fellas for a year or so. But I always felt bad about the bragging. I learned a lesson on humility. In ending, I sometimes wonder what became of her. Did she become a sex addict? A nympho? Maybe even turned lesbian? But the real question that haunts me is....who the fuck found that shit infested colonel of corn I flicked off my Dick and where was it? Did someone pick it up off the carpet and think,. I made enough coffee to fill my three cup thermos, then I put on a thermal puff parka. After I was disguised as a blue Pillsbury Dough Boy, I went onto my deck. I didn’t light the fire pit, I just sat there thinking.I hadn’t gotten past the, ‘this was a terrible betrayal of trust’ issue. I wanted to kick the shit out of Lois. I needed to be sure before I did anything, and I was sure. I just wanted to be even more sure. I wanted to catch her in the act. If not that that at least get her to admit it, before I kicked her ass out.”Dad, John?” John’s voice came over the cell phone.”Sure son it’s me. What can I do for you?” I asked.”Do you really think the witness is unreliable?” he asked.”Of course not, she is telling the truth. She will tell it on the stand. The outcome will depend on the Insurance Company’s Lawyer,” I said. If you coach her to tell all that she knows about her neighbor and the black man who drove the car, you might get away with her. Unless she has another ax.
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