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OXY-ACETYLENE TORCH : Used almost entirely for setting on fire various flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race... TABLE SAW : A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK : Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.BAND SAW : A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the rubbish bin after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST : A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER : Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as. I suppose I stood and stared that tawse three or four times in the weeks that followed, to be frank, I cycled the twelve miles into Leicester a couple of times just to look at it again. Finally I thought of the young Queen Elizabeth’s riposte to Sir Walter Ralegh: If thy heart fail thee, do not climb at all. Just as I nerved myself up to pushing open the door, an elderly lady, rather fat and shabbily dressed with grey hair in a bun, came waddling out of the shop and spoke to me. ‘Coom in and have a coop of tea me duck’. I followed her in to the ill-lit, dusty shop. There were two cups of steaming black tea on the counter, a sugar bowl and a milk-jug sat on a small round metal tray alongside. ‘Hope you like it strong. Sugar and milk there if you tek ’em’. ‘Thank you’, I said weakly adding condensed milk from a Nestles tin to my tea and stirring. ‘I know what you’re about me duck. I remember only too well how you feel’. She reached down the tawse and placed it in my hands. I stroked.
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