Nine. So why do they have to do the whole romantic and flirty thing? Watching them make goo-goo eyes at each other and say things like “My girlfriend and me really like singing together” just made me cringe. I didn’t want to correct him to “my girlfriend and I” as much as to “my friend and me.” Kids that age are supposed to make cute grammatical errors; they are not supposed to have lovers.Yes, I said lovers, because they don’t present themselves as kids with a cute crush, but as two yearning souls deeply in love with each other, and more than a hint that they might be making love. Whether it’s the songs they sing (“Islands in the Stream” and “Afternoon Delight” come to mind) or Paula coquettishly suggesting that “you show me yours if I show you mine” is “nothing new” to them, the faint and unpleasant scent of childhood sex is never far away.Mind you, it is a faint scent, so faint that you’re never quite sure that you smelled it. There is never that revelation moment when one of them. If only my dreams could become a reality. I hate to play the ‘what if’ game, but at this point I cannot avoid it any longer. What if we were closer? Why do I even tease myself with those thoughts? Why do we tease ourselves with those thoughts. It’s almost like torture, the way I ache for you. Why are we subjecting ourselves to this. Should we just agree to be friends and walk away, only talking every once in a while? Can I survive without air? NO! As smart as that would be, I do not believe I am capable of going through with it. You have become a valuable part of my life. I feel like I have this illness, and the only cure is you, and your presence. My heart aches when I wait to hear from you. I cannot imagine what a day without talking to you would be like. God. God! Why? If only these stupid tears could do something useful. I want you here, next to me, with me. I want to share everything I can with you, not just limit it to conversations. Oh, but those conversations. We would be.
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