I lovedthe female form. Soft smooth skin, the sexy curve of a womans waist andhips. Her breasts and smooth rounded ass. Here was the perfect form. Abeautiful woman.... with a cock. Alpha and Omega. Over the course ofseveral years I dressed, I dreamed and I cursed myself and my life. I'dpurge. Walk away from the clothes the stories and trannie porn. Addictionis a terrible thing. It will ruin the best of you, reduce a person tonothing. Less than nothing. A taker of all that's good from themselvesand everyone around them. A parasite. It was just like that, only Isuffered it alone. I would workout, grow a beard. Get in fights. Joinedthe fucking Army. It didn't matter,she was there.Jonna. Always there.Waiting, waiting for her day, like a prisoner waiting for parole. Whoknows how it starts, but it does. It creeps back in your life. That needthat desire....then along came the internet. My gateway to nirvana. Mygold mine, my Waterloo and my Alamo. I say MY Waterloo and Alamo. Jonna?Jonna. .. Please?”My hands begin to shiver and shake as she offers her lips to me, and my heart feels like it will explode out of my chest “Bell... I...” My mind becomes clear and focused, this is what I wanted, and so I should take it “I don’t know what to say...” My body wants it too, it yearns for her taste, for the touch of her lips on my own as I place my left hand behind her head, holding her close as my head leans closer “I lo...” Suddenly I freeze, and I cannot move. I love her. I can’t. I can’t say I love her, then take advantage of her when she is vulnerable... I would be no better than Dominic. Finally, I speak out again, my resolve weak and fractured “I... I can’t Bell... I don’t want to take advantage of you...” I feel a warm tear prick at the corners of my eyes as the words escape my lips, my heart sinking as I let go of my desires.A sad smile crosses her face, but she nods, wrapping her arms around my shoulders, an embrace that I cannot return this time “Thank you Teddy...”.
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