I had fallen for him. I loved him, unlike the love I had for Matt though. My love for James was mostly for how he had brought me out of my shell and made me a new woman. I also had feelings for him because of the way he went out of his way to take care of me afterwards.I was troubled with my new found love though. I thought about it several ways for most of the night and in the early morning hours I finally accepted that I could love more than one man in 'that' way. I knew that I would have to be very careful from now on though since I wanted to love only Matt and James in this way ever.The next day I once more had to put up with my client working on finding out my secret. I let slip that I had a certain man that gave me special time... and it helped me to relax. She tried to find out who this special man was, but I was tight lipped. I didn't want to share James with anyone else. Even though he was sharing me with whomever. I was selfish I know, but I was greedy too.That night was. At some point I did tell him that we were not going to have sex and he said that was okay with him because he was enjoying just being with me. At twenty-one I still fell for shit like that. We stopped for a while and he asked me if I wanted some air and maybe a beer and I said okay. As I got up he pulled up the hem of my top and I let him. I had the bikini on and it felt safe enough. Up to the deck where a cool Delta breeze was blowing and he handed me a beer and we talked about hs boat while his hands were never far from me. He told me I was beautiful and held me close and then he knelt down and for a moment I thought he was going to propose! Nope, but my shorts came down and then there I was in just my bikini. He turned on the marker lights and then shut off the rest of the lights on the boat and it was kind of amazing. It was a starry enough night and there were lights from some of the homes along the riverbank so I could see, but it was also intimate in its own way. It wasn't.
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