I must first discover my adversary. Nothing can be left to chance. She could be anyone. I want him back so badly that I can smell his scent as if he were nearby. I’ve started seeing things lately too, little defects in the corners of my vision. It must be the lack of sleep. My situation is untenable. ‘Oh, your kimono is so lovely!’ I should thank the woman next to me for her compliment, but I already don’t like her. It’s only because I envy her. She seems so free and natural, so casual and peaceful. Maybe she only feels good because she just had sex. There is more than that though, maybe the engagement ring. It’s a beautiful ring. ‘Thank you so much,’ she says, ‘my boyfriend—my fiancee—just gave it to me today!’ I wonder how much I said out loud. ‘It’s a dream come true,’ she continued, ‘I’ve never met anyone like him. Is that our train?’ Another is coming, but it won’t stop here. The local just left. ‘No,’ I answer, ‘the express.’ The slightest moan escapes her in her. There had been around fifty men and women from all services receiving medals that day. Afterwards they were stood in the palace gardens meeting the great and good who had also been invited. Billy enjoyed the food and drink but desperately wanted to get away as soon as he could – he felt uncomfortable mixing with all these strangers. Most of them were in social class above him and he felt absolutely no connection with them. It had been a privilege to receive his medal for the king but Billy had no time for the faceless men in suits who were also at the ceremony. As far as he could see, the majority of them were self-serving slackers who were more interested in promoting themselves than serving their country. Billy noticed an RAF officer standing alone smoking a cigarette. He grabbed a couple of drinks from the table and walked over to the man. ‘Hey chum, fancy a drink?’ He asked, offering the man a glass. Billy was shocked as the man turned to face him. His face was a mask of lurid.
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