Apparently, Nana had become quite confused lately and there was not much communication between them which was quite satisfactory from my mother's point of view. She had decided to vent her sorrow from a distance of some three thousand miles and allow me the pleasure of wearing black since it was a color that did absolutely nothing for her."Uncle" Eric, who was my mom's current bedroom playmate, was flexing his muscles next to the hot tub in the back yard and he gave me a look of sympathy knowing I had more carnal plans on my mind than spending a weekend in funeral halls and church cemeteries. I kind of liked Eric because he was so transparent and down to earth. He had showed me his cock one time when he was stoned so bad that he actually thought I was my mom come to give him some head. I wanted to reach out and touch it so badly that I was almost aching deep inside but I was smart enough to know not to fool around with one of my mom's "designated Uncle's". I think he remembered it a. I know it's there ... like a shadow ... growing thicker and darker. I'm scared of it." She exhaled slowly, calming herself. "Imps I can kill. And I can face my own death. Those don't scare me anymore ... but what's in there," she said, tapping her head, "I'm scared I can't control it." I thought I could ... for a long time. I didn't notice what was going on, when I ... went away ... Linh noticed ... I think it scared her, at first ... but she didn't let it scare her away, and she didn't make me aware of it until we got to Denver ... I think it was time, then. She seemed to know, and she told me what she saw me do, the way I stared and muttered. I didn't really remember it. But now that I know ... it scared me for a while ... maybe, when we are home and I have time to think about it again ... It might scare me again." Does it ever get better, Dad? Remembering?" I don't know. I can't really judge it. I mean ... some days, I'm fine, and since we joined the fight, I don't think I've gone.
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