I turned back to myoffice...looking at the newest incentive for the company's topperformers, a gift card for the salon that recently opened beside theclothing boutique that opened beside the shoe store in the base of ouroffice tower. At first I questioned the intelligence of a mans-man likeme, going to a salon. But my hair was a little long and messy, and I'dheard of men get manicures and pedicures all the time. So, why shouldn'tI go?Later that day my opinion of salons would be forever changed. First off,if you've never been to a salon...go. You had no idea what you aremissing. I know I didn't. Who wouldn't want to be doted on for a fewhours by a staff of attractive professionals? I had a facial, a bikiniwax (I wasn't sure at first but they talked me into it), a manicure anda pedicure. I felt like a whole new person. I was glowing. And withanother new suit from the downstairs boutique, thanks to my being a topperformer, I looked like a million bucks. Even a grueling half houraerobics. My new favourite, Hippolyte, and I enjoyed the pleasures to be had from our fellow pirates, though I will say that the other captive we took, a girl named Alexandra, did not take to Sapphic pleasures as readily as her companion. I ordered her lashed to the main mast during the festivities, her breasts bared (though she has so little in that department that we might as well have undressed a boy), in order that she might observe the delights savoured, but as of yet my action has not had the desired effect.But even Sapphic pleasures must pall, and as day after day of windless torpor has settled upon us, the ambience aboard the ship has grown most tedious. For the moment we do not lack for food, but our water stores are much more limited, and even at half-rations we face only a week more of drinking water if we cannot find some way to leave this place and find a port. They look to me for an answer, and I endeavor to project an Captainly air of confidence, but at night I have cried.
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