"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover."I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his fingertips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died."The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the waiting room.The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I. When I got back eight minutes later, I knocked and managed to open the door with one hand while balancing the coffee tray with the other. It is quite an art; I can tell you!“Coffee, sir.”“Please serve, Jeeves. Sergeant Blenkinsop was asking about my collection of artefacts that were stolen recently. It appears that when I purchased the collection, it was actually stolen property.”“Oh, dear, sir. How unfortunate. You purchased the items in good faith. You were not to know that the seller was cheating you.”“That is exactly what I was telling the good sergeant. I was the victim of a fraud, and the thieves at the vault stole the goods that I was carefully guarding for posterity.”“Indeed, sir. You had me photograph them, to get them insured. If you knew it was stolen property, that would not have been possible.”“As I said, Jeeves. I was the victim. I was asking if the police knew who had dumped the goods in that van. They don’t know, it seems; do you, sergeant?”“No-one does, sir. It is.
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