I didn’t, I sat in the front room while the ex-boyfriend became a rapist. I sat next to my sister and pulled her into a hug then fell back to the bed pulling her down beside me. She began to cry again, “I can’t believe he did all that Brett, I thought he loved me.” I was kinked at my hips, with my legs over the edge of the bed. I kicked off my shoes then twisted around to lie completely on the bed. When I was done shifting my sister also moved until she was lying with me, her head on my shoulder. She was still grieving for her lost love as I drifted to sleep. I woke to the fragrance of coffee. My eyes opened and the first thing I saw was a mug, held by my sister who looked like she’d spent the night in a tumble dryer. Her eyes were bleeding, her hair a tangle of knots, and the cup shook slightly. She was wearing my terrycloth morning robe. “Take this,” she said, “I have to take a shower.” I was still fully dressed so when I sat up my pants bunched up between my legs,. "Oh I don't believe that you actually saw all that," I said quickly. "But I believe you believe it. I don't think it's the product of some disease, and I think we can deal with it." Oh really," he said, smiling."Really," I said, also too firmly."So how do we deal with the fact that that my mother had a little girl the next September?" he asked.I waved a hand. "You may actually have seen your father and mother making love," I said sagely. "But your ten year old mind couldn't deal with that reality. You said yourself that you didn't want to believe that your parents had sex. So you repressed that memory, subtly altering it in the process, and kept it suppressed until the accident." I held up a hand. "I'm not saying that's what happened, but it's what may have happened. It's one explanation for what you're going through." My father had a vasectomy after Suzie was born," he said calmly. "When they found out mom was pregnant, they almost got divorced, because he thought she'd been cheating.
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