A young customs official watched the large entourage in disbelief, “Ma’am,” he said, “do all these children and this luggage belong to you?”“Yes, sir,” the lady said with a sigh, “they’re all mine.”The customs agent began his interrogation “Ma’am, do you have any weapons, contraband or drugs in your possession?”“Sir,” she calmly answered, “if I’d had any of those items, I would have used them by now.”My wife asked me why I don’t play golf with Patrick anymore. So I asked her “Would you continue to play with a guy who always gets drunk, loses so many balls other groups are always playing through, tells lousy jokes while you are trying to putt, and generally offends everyone around him on the course?”“Certainly not, dear” she replied.“Well, neither would he.”Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. “Follow me” he said, opening the gate and walking in.After some walk, Saint Pete’s. ”I open his briefcase, and sitting on top is a typed letter. I read it aloud:Finn Kearney is taking too long to decide to join us. To help him make up his mind, recruit Chloe as one of our girls. I want her rape video delivered to me by next Friday. Saturday, she is to attend my party. She will be at my place Friday night so she can be adequately prepared.Somebody seems to have planted a camera across the street from the clubhouse. Be sure to close the door before entering the code to the alarm system.Start locking the filing cabinets.Install the blinds on the back windows and keep them closed. I do not care if you think they are needed.How often do you drop off instructions like this,” I ask.“Less than once a month. Sometimes it is two or three months before he sends a note.”“Who’s Mr. Couture?”“Philip Couture is one of the wealthiest men in town. I have been his lawyer for twenty plus years.”“When and why did he start blackmailing little girls?”“About ten years ago, he got sick of.
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