” He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor. “No!” he shouts, “this is her husband!”A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. “Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks. “Hanging myself,” the blonde replies. “The rope should be around your neck” says the guard. “I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe.”An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: “Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?” To which the blonde man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A friend told the blonde man: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.” The blonde man then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: “What if one explodes before we get there?” The. That is until you reached the large brown envelope in the back of the stack bearing your name.You hastily opened it up and on the front page of the packet inside you see the name and symbol of Central University. Your hands began to shake once you realized this was the final school you had even a chance at getting in to. You nearly fainted when you read the words "Congratulations on your acceptance to Central University!" You sat down at the table and skimmed through the rest of the packet, not all that interested in information about the school.When you reached the end, you were surprised to find that the financial aid information was but a single page long. This time you really did faint when you read the words "You have been selected to receive a full scholarship, including tuition, housing, and a stipend for other necessities..."A few minutes later when you stirred, you finished reading the financial information. You were disheartened a little when you read that the scholarship.
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