"It's finally happened," Toddy sputtered. "Payne's lost what little is left of his mind."Just then, the bridge sensor operator cried out, "Confirmed, Captain. Superluminal traces at heading two-seven-five, up seven-two. Standard Sa'arm drive signature." Or maybe he hasn't," Toddy amended. "How many?"But Payne knew how many, and knew this little fleet was no match. There were just two Sa'arm vessels materializing. One was the presumably unarmed Volturnus freighter with who-knew-what in its holds, but the other was the last surviving Vervactor class cruiser - more than enough to cut the far smaller CSS Caldecot Castle into scrap metal without burping.The three captains of the unarmed vessels were too busy trying to throw their weight around to listen to their escort, who was screaming at this point. Payne realized he had to step in to prevent disaster."AI, I acknowledge SOPA."The AI was as emotionless as usual, fortunately for all concerned. "Aye aye, Admiral Payne. You are SOPA."One. I was that way too. The women in this family are cursed with a libido the size of King Kong." Why didn't you ever tell me this before now?" I asked."Because I was hoping you were normal. You looked normal, and acted normal. I still hope you're normal." Well of COURSE I'm normal," I said in an agitated voice. "I mean I THINK I'm normal. Why wouldn't I be normal?" I frowned. "How do you even know if you ARE normal?"She sighed again, and took another tiny stitch. "I could ask you some questions, but they'll be very personal." What kind of questions?" About your sex life." Eeep!" I gasped."See? That's one of the things that gave me hope. You don't flaunt it. I've even held out hope that you're still a virgin. Are you, honey?" She sounded so hopeful that it distracted me from the fact that my mother just asked me if I'd ever had sex."Well ... sort of," I said, trying to keep her hope alive."You can't be sort of a virgin," she said, "just like you can't be sort of pregnant." What I mean is.
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