"Zev?" Yes, my dove?" Am I being too hard on him?" I couldn't say his name, but I knew Zev would understand who I meant."No, Bellissima. He made a mistake, a grave one, and it is entirely up to you to decide how to respond. There is no such thing as a 'standard' amount of harshness in situations like this, yes?"I sighed. "That doesn't help." I know. I am sorry. If I may ask ... do you love him still?"I nodded, then buried my face in my hands. He put one arm around my shoulders and waited. When I looked up, he continued."He is set on pursuing you. He wishes to make amends." I know." Do you wish him to stop?"I paused, watching the sunset reflect beautiful colours on the water of Lake Calenhad."I just don't know."We sat quietly again until the sun finally set, and I clambered to my feet to head back to camp. On my way back, I heard music playing softly from Alistair's tent, and I smiled sadly. I could have sung along, not that I would have where anyone could hear me. The song he'd chosen. " A grandmother, yes. It's all right, you can say the word in front of me."A grandmother.With pink, blue and green hair cropped short on one side and falling toher shoulder on the other.And a cleavage that would attract attention on a desert island.Joe Brown was right. Fings certainly ain't wot they used to be."What's Rosie like?" I ask, watching the thin-faced, bespectacled guardmake his routine inspection in readiness for the return trip."A few years older than me. Divorced. A career woman, I think that's thebest way to describe her." And Cathryn?" You'll meet her on Sunday when we go across to the Isle of Wight. Untilthen I'm saying nothing."A buzzer sounds twice; the diesel rumbles away from the platform, and thefamiliar landmarks I grew up with - St Hild's, the old pier, the largetidal pond at the back of the harbour known as the Slake - slowlydisappear from view.With them go the last traces of the person I was when I returned here.Not dead, but held in that transparent yet.
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