??????????? A flash of horror and fascination,seeing her whipped again during my training, watching the beauty of her pain,and how she proudly bore it.??????????? A touch of envy for her lover, givensomething that I would be forever denied.??????????? Something that, if offered, I wouldbe forced by my own pride to refuse.??????????? I love you Mistress, I cried in mydreams.??????????? But my words like silent raindropsfell. She knew my desire for her. It need not be said openly.??????????? But in my mind that night, I saidall the things to her I could not say aloud.??????????? I confessed my desires for her onthe altar of my mind.??????????? "Michael, would you marryme?", she asked as we stood looking at the sunset.??????????? "Are you crazy?", I askedher aloud, while in my soul screaming YES! ??????????? She turned back to me and smiled inmy dreams. She knew what my soul had said, but accepted my refusal at facevalue, not embarrassing me with the answer she knew in my. I’m now a practicing gynecologist in Montreal, but my fear of my jilted husband and my father have never lessened and to this day I’ve never been with a man. Jeanette is married with c***dren now. She visits me in the summer each year but that is not near enough loving for someone who received daily attention in her youth.” “I look after myself exclusively these days but I really long for the touch of someone who really knows what to do. I won’t approach anyone I’m attracted to because of my occupation. It’s so hard some times to keep my passions to myself when I’m lubing up an attractive woman’s vagina. I swear some of my patients come to me just to enjoy my touch. More than once, with certain women, I’ve noticed an erect clitoris while I’m performing an internal examination and Pap test. I have one incarcerated patient, that prison guards regularly bring to me, who becomes unmistakably aroused as soon as my speculum spreads her apart.” “But the fear of being charged with.
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