There came a timid tap on my bedroom door and she slipped in to retrieve the contraband appliance. She smiled sadly as she left the room. The pleasure was empty and fleeting. ("I miss the weith of another person against me. The touch and smell," she explains. "Masturbation is a poor substitute.") I now was in the position to rid her of that emptiness and take my father's place as a superior lover. Whenever he did fuck her (not make love) it was usually adriot and without passion and he seemed to do it merely as an obligation. "I want to make you happy," I said, my lips grazing her cheek. "I'm still so afraid," she said and moved her head back fractionally. I gently took her hand and guided it under the bedsheet and laid it on tent in my pajama pants. There was a momentary resistance and her breath quickened, but then her fingers bagen to curl around my erection. She was still very conflicted on the emotions spinning in her head. "There is no ease way," I told her."We are. The chef, George, a tall black guy who wore a white sailor hat rather than a chef’s hat was captain of the ship and gave me a dirty scornful look, his assistant, Tony, a curly haired Italian glanced at me and smiled, knowingly. He knew about female guests and waiters. He didn’t say anything, but when he handed me my first order, smirking, “You got some last night didn’t you,” he said then laughed.Julia, a tiny old Russian Jewish woman in her seventies, who had been the baker there for twenty years, liked me and always smiled and knew I liked her cinnamon rolls. She always buttered one and handed it to me, even though she wasn’t supposed to. That morning she said, “You look tired, are you sick, drink some tea.”The dining room didn’t open until eight and once our stations were ready, we could sit at a table just off the kitchen and have coffee, scrambled eggs, bagels and talk about this or that. I always sat with Catherine and we often had stimulating conversations. She was a news.
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