As he leaves the shop he stumbles across a homeless man on the footpath who says, “I haven’t eaten for two days”, to which the man with the pastries replies; “I wish I had your willpower”!!!Jack: Just bought a hearing-aid for two dollars!Jill: What kind is it?Jack: Quarter past ten.A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.Tech support: Are you running it under windows?Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”A string walked into a bar and climbed up onto a stool. The bartender came over and said, “Hey you! We don’t serve strings in here. Get out!” The string got down and went outside where he wound himself up into a tight ball and rubbed himself back and forth on the rough concrete. Then he went back into the bar and climbed up onto the stool again. The bartender immediately said, “Aren’t you the string who was in here a minute. I lost my first load just after I got inside her. I was unbelievablly nervous and she was too. Melissa was shaking almost the whole time. She had only been with her boyfriend and she actually was scared that she might not be good in bed. We only left her dorm room to shower together and get food that weekend. When her boyfriend returned that Sunday night, Melissa broke up with him. We kept our relationship secret from him for a couple of weeks until he caught us together at a party off campus. It didn't go well. That's how we initially got the idea of living together. What could go wrong???When classes started that Fall term, I had to tell Melissa about my suspension. She seemed to take it well for the first month of college. We had sex multiple times a day. But after she left, I found myself still masturbating online to porn. My sexual appetite was insatiable back then. I didn't have a desire to cheat on her but I did have the urge to fantasize about being with others. I was working.
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