"Gotcha. Maybe I'll get you a souvenir from Alcatraz, too."He shakes his head."I don't need any prison junk. Got an uncle and a cousin with the Middlesex County Sheriff's Department. They can get me authentic stuff from the county klink." Like what?" Oh, like homemade knives, and booze. They make it out of rotting fruit and floor cleaner. It's not exactly officially endorsed, though."Back in my office, I fast-forward through my accumulated voice mail. Like email, most voice mail messages are general announcements and other assorted junk, like the front desk letting the whole company know that there's a blue jeep in the lot that still has its lights on. My voice mail cull rate is almost as high as the one for email. With all this convenient technology at their fingertips, people have lost the ability for concise communication. Nothing is more tedious than having to listen to a voice mail that rambles on for five minutes without ever getting to a point. It's a surprising trend,. ..Charles: Like what?Alan: Um, OK, so I missed her birthday, and, um, one wedding rehearsal. I mean, big deal right?Charles: Any other problems?Alan: Oh, she says we don't communicate.Charles: And you don't agree I take it.Alan: Look, if she wants to talk to me all she has to do is open a chat window. We have a computer in the other room. I even set up an account for her on the sex fantasy site. You would think she would appreciate it but all did was complain about the screen name I picked.Charles: What was it?Alan: "MyLittleSlut6969."Charles: Hmmm....Alan: I mean it's not like I'm cheating on her. I told her the only f-word here is fantasy, right?Carrie: Did someone say the f-word? I wanna fuck!Alan: She says she is embarrassed to tell her friends I write sex stories for the net. She says I'm just an Internet pornographer. I told her someone has to write Internet pornography. I mean, it's not going to write itself, right?Pete: Here, here!Alan: She says me being on this sex fantasy.
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