Sincerely,Violet DAY EIGHT:O.K. Pal ! !WHAT IN THE SCREAMING HELL AM I GOING TO DOWITH EIGHT MAIDS-A-MILKING?JESUS!!!I THINK I PREFER THE GODDAMN BIRDS!THE GODDAMN MAIDS-A-MILKING HAD TO BRING THEIR GODDAMN COWS.THERE IS COW SHIT ALL OVER MY LAWN AND BIRD SHIT ALL OVER THE HOUSE.I CANNOT MOVE MY FEET.JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE,SMARTASS.DAY NINELISTEN SHITHEAD ! !YOU'RE A SADISTIC BASTARD!NOW I HAVE NINE PIPERS PIPING IN MY FRONT YARDAND THEY ARE STANDING KNEE DEEP IN COW SHIT.THIS AFTER CHASING THOSE MAIDS ALL NIGHT LONG. CONSEQUENTLY,UPSETTING THE COWS TO THE POINT THAT THEY ARE STEPPING ALL OVERTHOSE GODDAMN SCREECHING BIRDS.THE NEIGHBORS HAVE STARTED A PETITION TO EVICT ME.UP YOURS ! ! ! DAY TENYOU ROTTEN PRICK ! ! !NOW THERE'S TEN LADIES DANCING.I DON'T KNOW WHY I CALL THOSE SLUTS "LADIES".THEY'VE BEEN BALLING THOSE GODDAMN PIPERS ALL NIGHT LONG.NOW THE GODDAMN COWS CAN'T sleep AND THEY'VE GOT DIARRHEA!EVERYTHING HAS TURNED TO A RIVER OF SHIT ! !THE COMMISSIONER OF ZONING. He wasn’t particularly proud of engaging in them, but he couldn’t help, and couldn’t bother really. They gave him joy, especially when he pleasured himself while in the middle of practicing them. On the frequent occasions that he partook in this hobby of his, he had to wait till his shift is over, for obvious reasons. Then he was free to roam the late afternoon streets, hunting for lone females to watch and approach. Did he picture himself as pathetic? ... Did he care? ... No, not really. He was an alumnus of the I dont give a fuck school, majoring in do whatever pleases you, with a minor in whatever works. He had no further ambitions beyond working his shifts as a garbage man, and working the streets as a perv in his spare time afterwards.It was a weekday afternoon in the fall, as grey and sticky as it can get. Fred was doing his final round of the shift for the day, standing erect (no pun intended) on one side of a slow-moving but noisy garbage truck while his partner Nick stood on.
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