He looked so miserable. I reached out and took his hand.“I really like you, but I’m not convinced I’d be enough,” I whispered. “Please, let’s try,” he whispered back. And so I began a relationship with a gay guy! Ok, a bisexual guy, but we didn’t have such words back then. The next evening, Arnold called at my flat. I’d only left home a couple of months previous, so that added to the illusion in my head of the worldly woman. As we weren’t due to meet the others that night, this was technically a date I guess. With a drink each, and some crispy snacks, we picked a video (yes it was that long ago, there were no DVDs!) and settled down to watch. I think it held our attention for maybe twenty minutes, can’t even remember what it was. He’d inched closer to me, and had taken my hand. I remember being mesmerised by his fingers intertwined with mine. He had very neat hands, with neat nails. Everything clean and in proportion and smooth. I turned to ask, what I’m sure was a stupid question,. But his lie got blow out of water when the Princess embarrassingly walked in on him stroking himself, while watching a threesome sex tape of the Queen with those two bodyguards. “Mom was cheating on you? And you were jerking off watching them? You guys are sick! Eeewww!” exclaimed Snow White, running out of the room. The King had found those sex tapes, volumes one to eleven, in his now ex-wife’s night stand, just behind her collection of vibrators, dildos and handcuffs. When the King told Snow White the truth, the poor girl was devastated. Very soon, she started to act out and behave badly, getting tattoos, smoking pot, and partying out all night with Lindzay Lowhigh. By the age of eighteen, Snow White was very well known, not only for her beauty, but also for her naughtiness. The King tried to discipline the Princess, but failed miserably. Like all the single dads, he had no idea how to deal with a grown up teenage daughter. Rolling her eyes, Snow White answered all of her.
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