‘Well, he can afford all those presents, can’t he,’ she laughed. ‘Well, this Santa is not rich,’ I put in. ‘If he weren’t so poor he wouldn’t have smelly little children sitting on his lap all day. One of them puked on me the other day. It is definitely not what I was trained for.’ ‘And what were you trained for?’ she wanted to know. ‘Shakespeare,’ I replied. ‘An actor?’ she asked. ‘Four years at the National Institute of Dramatic Arts. Mel Gibson went there, you know,’ I explained. ‘I bet he was never a shopping centre Santa,’ she teased me. ‘All right,’ I replied. ‘Don’t rub it in.’ ‘I take it that it doesn’t pay too well?’ she questioned me. ‘No. But I have another job at nights,’ I told her. ‘I’m a stripper. Tonight’s my night off.’ ‘A stripper? I’d like to see that,’ she laughed. ‘I’ve never been to a male strip show. Do you do the ‘full monty’?’ ‘Of course,’ I replied. Her face went a charming shade of red as she contemplated her next question. ‘When you are stripping…?’ she. " She made a big show of reluctance, but the man had started to get to her with his full speed ahead attitude.She fried up ham and eggs and whipped up some biscuits. With ham gravy over fried potatoes to top everything off. She figured there was plenty for any two people. He all but inhaled his, drank a pot of coffee and polished off the rest of the biscuits and potatoes she had planned to have asr an after church snack."Little man," she marveled at him, how come you're not seven feet tall, the way you eat" Well, my future wife," he answered, "My growth got stunted from eating so much." They both laughed at his joke."It was then, right then on the first Sunday after we met, I realized for sure he and I were going to get married," she confided in a letter to Ma. Instead of a year, there were only six months of courtship. The date was set and the announcements were sent out.Only one man ever made fun of Oscar and Maude in his hearing. Oscar broke his jaw with a single punch. After the.
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