I looked at the laptop camera and said, "Now that my boyfriends off the phone, I want to play some more just so you can watch me.'I kept looking at the clock and I faked three climaxes and came four more times before my time was up.My poor laptop kept pinging and pinging as one IM after another popped up. I told my audience that I would try and respond to the IM's after I signed off. I told them I would only respond to the nice ones.I have no idea what I even meant by that, I just said it. Part of me did get turned on by all of this. Another part of me was scared to death that one of my husband's friends would somehow discover me doing this, and tell him. Then of course there was also the chance that if one of his friends did find out then they could blackmail me into having sex with them or something as well. I was screwed either fucking way.When I signed off, I began reading the IM's, some were short others very nasty and some were down right scary. Almost everyone wanted to call. Get your metamorphosing ass to a hospital, sucka. No, no,no!I wasn't sure if it was from inhaling smoke at the club or from shoutingso much there, but I'd woken up with a changed voice. Higher, reedier. I tried to hide it by pitching it lower. Fucking puberty in reverse. Idabbed at my increasingly mushy cereal with my spoon, not even wantingto look at Emily as I voiced for the first time what exactly about thebody changes had me scared: "Everybody in there thought I was a girl.Is that what's happening to me? Am I turning into a girl?" I don't know," Emily said. "But I'm getting scared, too."We were both in t-shirts and sweatpants (all mine). Impulsively, I putmy cereal bowl down on the carpet, jumped off the sofa and went to thefull length mirror on my closet door, took off my shirt, and slid downmy sweats and boxers.Just as I'd feared, whatever was happening to me was now affectingLittle Martin, or, I should say, Littler Martin. My penis was teensynow, practically buried in.
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