She gives me a look. I tremble so, for fear she will punish me again, and the feelings come rising up — choking me. I try to look down, modestly, to still my beating heart, to stop the flushed blood rising in my cheeks. I cannot bear it! I get thrown into such a hysteria. I had the misfortune to be born on St. Valentine’s Day — 1844. A well reared and educated girl, I of course do not look for any foolish lace and paper cards decorated with cupids and the like on The Day. I content myself with a small family party to which Mama may invite one or two of my friends from school. I just know she will invite Clara Macready again this year. Clara will be simpering with the ring on her finger — although I own to you, that I have never seen such a small stone in my life. I do not know what she thinks she has to boast of in such a trumpery little ring. She and Mrs Macready will be full of the details of her coming spring wedding. I cannot bear it! It is my birthday, not Clara Macready’s. Theresa told her that she was just tired, which was partially true. But there was, in addition to all the other emotional turmoil she was going through, another feeling growing inside her: a feeling that was so foreign to her experience that she would have been unable to name it even if she had allowed herself to be fully aware of it: Anticipation. But of what…?Without admitting it to herself she kept watch all day to see if he would dare to set foot in her library again. And as the afternoon drew to a close she found herself becoming agitated, fussing with papers at the front desk and trying to watch the entire library at once. But when it was nearly closing time she couldn’t stand to wait any longer. She was positive he hadn’t come in. But she was going to make sure.She piled the books to be shelved onto her cart and wheeled it directly towards the back, pausing to peer around every corner and down every row of shelves.Nothing.When she finally neared the corner where the.
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