’ I stood up in time to see Mike sneak out the back door without a hug or kiss goodbye. He didn’t even take the time to tell me when he’d be back, something that was more of a demand than request whenever I left the house. I sat down on the couch when the phone rang. I didn’t feel like moving, but I picked MJ up, pulled myself off of the couch and answered it. ‘Hello?’ I asked. ‘Is Mike there?’ It was a man’s voice, but there was slight feminine lisp and it wasn’t a voice that was familiar to me. Usually whenever Mike’s friends called, they greeted me and then asked for Mike. This particular person, whoever he was, either wasn’t a friend or just didn’t care about the protocol. ‘No he isn’t, may I ask–.’ Before I had a chance to ask who was calling, he hung up. The prevailing thought in my head was that this jackass had better not call here again or he was going to catch a earful of unpleasant words. A half an hour of news had MJ’s head looking for a comfortable spot on my chest as he. "You poor thing. Are you going to be okay?" Dylan looked at the woman, and saw that she was addressing not him, but the girl in front of him."He was trying to molest me," the shapely beauty complained innocently. "Why would he do that? Why me?" Now, there there, young lady," the middle-aged woman said in a motherly tone. "It's not your fault. It's all that Viagra that poisoned the country's resources when the terrorists attacked. This young man is too worked up to know what he's doing." Why can't guys just drink bottled water, then?" the young woman asked, looking Dylan up and down as if he was deranged."It's not just the water," the middle-aged woman reminded her. "When the terrorists tried to knock us out with Valium but accidentally used Viagra instead, they contaminated the air, the food supply, everything. All these men, all around you, are fighting this disability every day."The young woman placed her hand on Dylan's desperate bulge and squeezed gently, then stroked it slowly.
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