We sit down and watch the television together when I’m home, which is rare because normally I am out with friends or by myself silently wishing that my life could be different, that you are different. You think and you’ve said it once in rage, that I’m out looking for sex, but you’re wrong it’s worse than that. I’m looking for love. Tonight I am home and though I’m here in body, my mind is elsewhere. We watch a film and it distracts us from the misery we both know exists. The film we’re watching is sentimental towards the end and it just extenuates how unsentimental I feel towards you. You’re my friend, I trust you with my life but I don’t like how I hurt you with my inability to love you the way you love me. I’m angry with myself, but I hide it well by being angry with you. The film is finished and already the mood is changing to one that makes me look at my coat, you notice and it makes you angry with me, you know me too well and you think I’ve created. Molly shut her eyes tight and shook her head again. ‘Oh well,’ said Dan, sighing. ‘Maybe later?’ ‘Maybe,’ Molly mumbled, watching the swirls in her cup again. ‘Just not right now, okay?’ ‘It’s okay,’ Dan reassured her. ‘I don’t want you to dance with me if you don’t want to.’ The two sat in silence for a while. The band stopped playing their song and switched to a livelier one, the crowd beginning to jump up and down to the music in a chaotic dance. ‘Want to go outside?’ Dan asked. ‘It’s getting a little noisy in here.’ Molly nodded her head and stood up. Dan offered his arm, but Molly didn’t take it. The offer touched her, though. She smiled warmly into his face and followed him to the side door, escaping out of the loud room into the parking lot. Outside, the cool air wisped against Molly’s hot cheeks, causing them to turn red. The beat of the music could be heard, but it wasn’t so loud and intrusive. Dan leaned his tall form against the building, and pulled out a cigarette,.
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