She would let her mind go to the edges of what was deemed acceptable, but afterwards would feel nothing but guilt. With Brad it was different. He allowed her to be herself, to accept herself, kinks and all. After work she went straight to the boutique on the business card Brad had given her. Excitement was overwhelming and she could not wait. It was a small store in the middle of a strip of shops known for their high prices. She walked in, knowing she must have looked as awkward as she felt. She looked around for only a moment before a tall, slender woman came to her, "Is there something I can help you with?" she said with a smile. "I am here to pick up a dress someone had ordered for me." "Ah, yes. You are Brad's girl, right?" She didn't wait for a response. "He said you where gorgeous. He wasn’t exaggerating." She wanted to say thank you, but she only managed to blush. "My name is Gina. Follow me and see your dress. You can try it on, but we will take your measurements and have it. "A night?" Yes, a night." No." Why not?" What am I going to say to him?" Pick a day he's traveling." He'll call home." Tell him you are staying at a friend's." Let's talk about something else." Are you happy?" I asked her once."That's a fucking awful question to ask someone." I know." I drown myself in books. I read for six, eight hours in a row, then stop for a few minutes and start to read again. I read so much that is makes me physically nauseated. Really. I feel sick. I have to stop. But it's no use, I come back. I try to drown in all that information, all those ideas; I read three, four, five books at the same time, alternating to each other as I get tired of them. I start to read faster. If I have some 'disposable' thing to read, a magazine or a newspaper, I read it from the first to the last page. My eyes run over the pages. I like reading papers, because I barely need to move my eyes from side to side. I just let them slide down the page, enjoying the short columns." Don't you.
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