She looked up at me, the iron lady once more in control.“We’re sure you didn’t mean to...”I sat there and watched in amazement as tears trickled silently down her cheeks and dissolved her iron face. She looked down at the picture, then up at me. Her face had an expression on it that I don’t think I’d seen before. It was soft and raw and ... I don’t know how to describe it. Maybe one day I’ll draw it and get someone to tell me what they see.“Is this really what you see?” Her voice was quiet, almost pleading.I nodded again, blinking back my own tears. I don’t know why I felt like crying. It was, as if seeing Mum cry meant that I had to cry with her.There was the sudden scrape of a pushed-back chair. A quick rush around the table, and I was wrapped up and squeezed tightly in a motherly hug. Or maybe it wasn’t so motherly – usually motherly hugs involve her trying to soothe me because I’m upset, or her telling me that she loved me, or ... so, maybe it was a motherly hug.Breathing was. At eight-thirty Em, briefly satisfied, dressed in a sports bra and lycra shorts for her massage and put the lovely thick robe she found in the walk-in wardrobe over them. She poured herself another glass of wine and stood in front of the fire. At eight-fifty the phone in the room rang. She answered it. It was Silvio, checking that she was still okay with a nine o’clock massage. She was, she told him, and thought that he sounded very nice. She had no expectations, wasn’t contemplating anything other than a straight massage tonight. A very good massage, she was sure of that. But straight, for it was surely that sort of place. Ambrose hadn’t even twitched when she had called him earlier on somewhere on Planet Earth. She thought it was Paris but it could be Monaco by now. He was on yet another trip in search of a another story. He had simply said, “Very classy.” Ambrose knew these things. She often picked his brains for corporate purposes and he was always happy to provide advice that.
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