" She took them, started going through the stack,and the vacant, yet happy expression that she had worn when I firstarrived returned to her face."I'll be going now, Mom, OK?" Caught up in her memories, she barelyseemed to notice my departure.I had a lot to think about on the drive home. Did I really spend thefirst few years of my life being raised as a girl? I certainly had nomemory of it. But...perhaps some things did make more sense in thiscontext. From a young age, I was always fascinated by my mother'sthings. The silkiness of her dresses. The stretch and hold of her oldfashioned girdle. The colors and scents of her cosmetics, and theshine and glitter of her jewelry. By the time I was 8, I would takeany opportunity when she was out to put on one of her outfits, andmake up my face. I always took precautions, and was never caught,despite a few close calls. By my early teens, I really embraced mytransvestism, and started buying more age and size appropriateclothing and accessories,. ..I didn't want to turn back. I wanted to begin my new life. With Ashley. And I wanted to begin it now."So many books! Have you read them all?" Oh yes, I love the classics." Shakespeare!" She saw the large volume of the Yale Shakespeare on its side, very noticeable by its size. "Oh you have to meet Rebekah, then. She's an actress. She loves theater." Yes! You must introduce us. I'd love to discuss it with her." You can meet her tonight! We're having some girlfriends over. I'll bring her by." I'd be so thrilled! Please do!" Help me make the most of freedom/and of pleasure...."Oh and such pretty pictures! I feel so plain and ordinary around all these beautiful women on the walls!" They don't compare to you, Ashley. You are the prettiest girl in the room."She turned to look at me and smiled. "Awww."There's a room where the light won't find you/ holding hands while the walls come tumbling down"Would you like some irish coffee? I was just going to pour a cup." That sounds good! Thank you,.
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