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What had happened? What tragedy had befallen her family? What?"Mom," Tess tried again, "It's OK! It's not... something terrible... But it's pretty bad." What? What?"It had just occurred to me. Tess' mother's name was Marlene, and Roy Junior's new girlfriend-cum-fiancé, was named "Charlene."Well, at least Charlene didn't look like Marlene. She looked like Tess.But, I digress. Marlene Henderson was alarmed, and Tess wasn't making any progress on her story.Well, I was the husband. The new son-in-law. I didn't much feel like it, yet. We hadn't been around the Manor much, since the wedding. I felt, pretty much, the way I had when I was supposed to be sleeping in the guest room, although everybody knew I was in there, boffing their daughter.But, damn it, I was the official son-in-law now. I had responsibilities. "Mom," I said, trying out, for the very first time, the concept of calling my mother-in-law "Mom." "Mom," I said, "you know we went to a clothing-optional beach on our honeymoon in. ."I cut her off. "No bother," I said. "Indeed, no call. I suspected you'd stop that little act when you were no longer the center of attention. It appears I was correct."She showed her teeth. "How very droll." She had good teeth. Not a small thing, considering she was British. But then, one had to wonder if, in these days of EU imports, the teeth were quite as British as the rest of her. One suspected she was not all original equipment. She was, according to the recent stories about her young swain, a rather ripe 68.But on her, it looked good. I said as much, albeit phrasing the sentiment a tad more diplomatically. Not much more, I must say, but she let it pass, which told me everything I needed to know. Joan Collins wanted this part. She wanted it very much."Now, young man," she said, bestowing another smile upon me, "I understand you have a play that needs a star. A star of, shall we say, the proper magnitude."A magnitude of about 50 or older, I thought. Joan was, if anything,.
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