" And then a momentlater she repeated "My parrot says, 'I just realized that I don't knowyour name; I just realized that I don't know your name'." She sure hasways to break any mental block I can build up.I have private reasons to hide that information so I just asked, "Can Iuse a different name? I don't like mine very much. The name Penny soundslike it is almost worthless but the name Buck sounds a hundred timesbetter."Everyone knows tomboys are born girls so they have girl names or at leastandrogynous names. I technically didn't tell her my actual name but sortof implied that it was Penny who went by Buck when she was being atomboy. So therefore I didn't actually lie but it was close enough that Iblushed. Luckily she thought the blush was just because I didn't like thename Penny.Dear diary, Let me tell you how she asks why I cameAt 9:58 am, she says, "Now Buck Honey you are going to get my undividedattention as much as you would like but I am going to need to know whyyou came here. I like the rain, and it would keep the air temperature down.As I sat in the outhouse doing my business (something about that function seems to initiate introspective thought), I got to thinking about why Granddad had engineered this trip. Like Rhonda said, he probably wanted me to "grow a pair" and fend for myself, attain a little depth, as he put it. So was that happening? I mean, how could you tell? It's not like it's something you can measure, subjectively or objectively. And what did he mean by "depth" anyhow? All I could figure was that he meant the total accumulation of experiences in my life. Or more likely, how I dealt with those experiences. Yeah, that had to be it. Like, did I walk into them with my eyes open and deal with them straight on, or did I turn my back on the potentially bad experiences and just hope they'd go away?Well, I guess the only way I'll know if I'm making progress is when we meet up again at the end of my thirty-day walkabout. Maybe he'll see me.
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