Maxwell found his way to the store so Sarah didn’t have to go looking for him. She had obviously told him they were going to work the next day. Sarah got the store open, then prepared to work the lawn care business.Before she walked out the door she said, “How about thinking about a more formal arrangement between us.”“Why you owe me at least the next three years of your life,” I said smiling.“You don’t have anything in writing,” she said.“Is that how you really want to play this?” I asked.Sarah turned and walked out the door with a simple, “Whatever.”“Exactly,” I shouted after her and laughed.Sarah might not know how to show her gratitude but Ester did. She came by the store and did a lunch run every day. I bought my own lunch, but she brought lunch to us all. I had salvaged a picnic table in fair shape for the back parking lot of the store. Sarah and Allen, before he got himself murdered, painted and restored the table.If we weren’t busy we ate together. If the store was busy we. Wide awake, with a familiar feeling of envy in the pit of my stomach and an uncomfortably nagging erection, I looked over across the small, dark room at the outline of Friedrich sleeping peacefully in his bed.I listened to the soft sound of his breathing, and immediately caught myself wondering how his breathing sounded when he was making love to her. To my Ilse. This only evoked another, stronger pang of envy-arousal deep within me, coupled with a feeling of guilt.I could not hate him. He was practically a brother to me.And yet a part of me so yearned to hate him for taking her from me.A part I was able to suppress most of the time, but which I struggled with that night as I watched him sleep.I lay there observing him in silence for a minute or two, waiting for my anger to subside. Then, satisfying myself that he really was asleep, my hand slipped beneath the sheets and I began to masturbate as quietly as I possibly could.I thought of the two of them as I did it.Of him fucking her.
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