She was about to wash up when she felt a sense of wrongness about it. What seemed right was to leave it as it was, tantalizing Steven through dinner and beyond. A grin again spread across her lips, and a wonderful sense of fulfillment washed over her.Although she felt good physically of late, she had developed a concern that she wasn't pleasing Steven sexually. She fairly frequently had assorted sinus infections, back and neck pain, and just general aches that seemed to reduce her interest in physical intimacy. But for the last few months, she only had some minor neck or back pains, and even that occurred on rare days. She loved Steven, and with her body feeling good, he had to know that she loved him. To have and to hold, that was the vow.The love was there. The commitment was there. But something nagged at her, telling her that she needed to prove herself sexually to him, to be the aggressor, the experimenter, the temptress. She wondered where all these ideas for sex had been. The question was why that had not developed with Barbara and he realised that, since she had made up her mind never to marry again, she had curbed it. He also realised that he was not transmitting either because there was nothing to connect to.Some months later he met Deirdre Metcalfe at a dinner party. She was a childless divorcee in her mid-forties. He found her amusing, intelligent and attractive. She was the artistic director of a fashion company and was always turned out beautifully. She was not local but only lived some twenty miles away in a pretty and delightfully furnished cottage. After a slow start they began to see each other quite often and enjoyed each other's company. A high point was when they went out on the Thames at Pangbourne one Sunday afternoon and laughed themselves silly.She invited him to accompany her to a fashion show in London. He was not sure it was quite his scene and voiced his doubts."Nonsense," she said, "You'll love it. Lots of pretty girls to ogle.
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