Jamie was 100% sure that Kelly'spresence within Constellation was a direct attack on her 'unique sellingpoint', and it was impossible for Jamie to see that as anything otherthan an attack on her sense of self, no matter how hard Jamie tried toremind herself that she wasn't the first transgendered person in theworld to be seen as a role model- and she certainly wouldn't be thelast."Hope your day was better than mine," Jamie said to her fianc? thatnight as they both got undressed and got ready for bed."I had to take repeated breaks from work to 'play' with my genitals,"Stuart explained, making Jamie giggle, "with my little sister knowingexactly what I was doing each time I left the studio." Okay, that IS pretty bad," Jamie laughed."Though to be fair..." Stuart grimaced. "You probably had the worst newsof the year so far, so there's no real competing with that, even if Iwanted to." Thanks," Jamie whispered. "We all knew it was coming anyway, but tohear it... And to hear that we're being. My heart was like lead. I looked away, then looked back and met her eyes. "I think it will break my heart," I said quietly, "but if that is what you really want, then..." I swallowed hard and looked away again for a moment before looked back at her. "Helen, you are free to go with my blessing, and my wishes for your happiness."Her face lit up with that smile. "That's what he said you'd say! I really don't deserve you! If you really want me to be happy, you'll marry me, four weeks from today. If you can forgive me teasing and straining your patience and your love. I've pushed and pulled you, hit you..." she burst into tears and flung herself against me.I'm a bit old for roller-coasters – physical or emotional – and it took a while for me to process what she'd said, and longer for me to accept it."You ... still ... want ... to marry me?" No-one else. Absolutely no-one else. I was never in love with Greg, he was never in love with me, just guilty. You cared for me, cared for Phil. You.
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