He’d been practicing for the past month to get them just right. The place was packed. He figured he wouldn’t be able to find her, if she was in the building. The mc gave Danny a nod and introduced him, ‘I debated on whether I should let this guy back up here for amateur night. The guy just comes up, sits down, and destroys the competition. Well, tonight we had some aspiring artists in the mix so we’ll see how he stands up next to talent. Everybody, please welcome, Daniel Langier.’ Daniel waved at the clapping people and sat down. He did a quick run, closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. He did a version of ‘Crush’ by Gavin Degraw. The crowd seemed to enjoy it. He then shook out his arms and did the song that he’d worried over. ‘My Joy’ by Jeremy Carter. He did it the way that he’d wanted it to sound in the beginning. In his mind, Joanne was standing behind him with her hands on his shoulders. By the end of the song, he could feel her arms around his waist as he was about to. {Oh God please! Wake up and drink this!} I sank to my knees and stayed there, finally realizing he lay there quietly, a soft and peaceful smile upon his face. At last, no more pain. I deeply believe that Ted is here with me. Ok, say I am nuts, maybe I am! But I hear him speak out loud, plain as day. In that moment between sleep and awareness, sliding amongst the shadows of my room, he comes to me in dreams. I feel him in my mind, reaching for me in that instant where sleep and wakeness blend. I can feel his touch, I let myself go, I orgasm in blinding flashes of light, it has to be him. No one else has ever made me feel like that. I awake, he is gone. Was he here? I think so, I know so. Even if I am wrong, I feel it in my body and mind. Ted looks after me still. {I touch myself, still damp from him, then I cry. Is grief endless?} I am 50, I will be 51 soon. I am one of those who gets shortchanged every year, my birthday is December 27th. I got used to that, everyone I have ever.
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