As themusic stops, so does the 'moment' and I get the usual low feelings thatthat brings, but as the 'moments' last longer, the 'comedowns' last forless and less time.After Mr. Malik drives myself, Nicole and Megan to our respective homes,I collapse on my sofa and try to induce another 'moment'. Sat in a pairof soft grey tights, a pleated grey skirt and a pair of flats with cutebows on the toes, it's not hard to believe that I've always been a girl,but every time I try to forget, I'm reminded that it was in this veryhouse less than two months ago that my so-called father literally triedto drag me out of the house. It was in this house two months earlier thatmy brother did everything he could to try to bully me back into being aboy. And it was in this house three months before that that one of thefirst friends I ever made as Laura was forced by her father to become abully, to torment me at every opportunity she gets.Whilst Ricky seems to be making at least a token effort to accept me. Later that night, I was sleeping in a room that was the servant's room. I did feel bad, the father kicked out of her room for some foreigner to sleep in. I paid her secretly, to let her know this was not my idea to sleep there. So it was dark, barely lit enough to know where to exit late at night. I had my shorts & underwear off. All I had on was my white shirt I wore for PE back in high school. So imagine it, me laying stomach flat in a soft cot with nothing but my shirt on & a blanket covering my hairy butt. The door begins to creak open, I turn my head to see a black silhouette standing there in the doorway. It was daddy & he totally got the message. Indian men aren't quick to get in on it so he spent his time climbing up on the bed, lying on top of me & kissing my neck & blowing into my ear. He liked my earlobe, continuously suckling on it & whispering Indian words into me. I didn't know what he was saying, but I kinda hated it. He could be saying love poetry, I hated it. I.
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