And he took no precautions, he was willing to risk impregnating her without the slightest regard of the consequences to the victim. Consequences that had effectively put her life on hold ever since.No, it was completely impossible to agree “yes” to his marriage proposal.How could she possibly accept such a man? How would such a promise be made, without him accepting that premeditated evil that he had committed, without him comprehensively understanding exactly what his planned drugging and raping had done to her?How could she accept a vile man who deposited a child in her womb? Even if he was unaware that he had created an unborn child, who died so tragically within her, the act had in someway she hadn’t understood, poisoned both mother and child so that she nearly died too? How could she reward such a man with a promise of her affection, someone whose actions had made her so ill that she couldn’t even attend their poor child’s funeral? How could she live with a man who had fathered. I put it off due mainly to my eyebrows! But I couldn’t put them off indefinitely. I had also stopped seeing my mates who I used to hang around with at the rock clubs. Alex came home one evening with an A4 print out of a job she had spotted in the Nursery Nurse monthly journal. “Nanny Fantastic! Required urgently. To look after two girls aged 5 and 8, also carry out some light housework, cooking and some PA duties. Prefer live in. May involve some foreign travel with the family……. Top salary paid!” “Alex your suggesting I go for this?” I said straight faced. “Why not honey, you know you are totally believable as a woman , even your voice has changed!” I coughed nervously, I had been lightening my voice as the weeks passed! “But they will want references etc!” I said. “Yes I have that covered, you know Louise is leaving the profession to take up primary school teaching? Well you will become Louise and we will give her childcare references to you, she’s happy about it.” I.
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