They answered; “We don’t know for sure. The last commander told us to do it, so here we are. It seems to be a tradition of some sort.”The new commander called the old one to ask what the reason was, and the previous commander said; “I don’t know. The commander before me had guards on the bench, so I just kept it going.”After contacting three previous commanders as well, and still getting the same answer, the new commander finally found a retired General (nearly 100 years old) and asked; “Sir, I am the new commander at the base you were in charge of 60 years ago. I found two men assigned to stand guard on a bench near the mess hall. Can you please tell me why?”After a pause, the General replied; “What? Is the paint still wet?”????????????????Thank tavern_knight for this one~“So when the first pig asked the man for straw to build his house with...”“What do you think the man was thinking?”One of the teacher’s students in the back of the room, called out, “Fuck me, a talking. Yeah. I, uh, I thought youwere going to a concert tonight?" Tom stood up, pissed all over again. "And who," he started as hebegan to pace, "am I supposed to go with, since that bitch Carol decidedwe should 'see other people' last night, and then went and called everygirl around and told them not to go out with me tonight? I ask you!" hesnarled, whipping around. "Ahhh, well, um." Paul stopped, at a loss for words. An idea formed in Tom's head. "Hey," he said, plopping back down on the bed. "You wanna go?You're already dressed for it, and we could grab something to eat beforeit starts." Paul looked completely stunned. "What? Like, like this?!" Heindicated the dress he was wearing. Tom shrugged as he leaned back. "Sure. You look better than Caroldid, that's fer sure. That bitch..." He sighed. "You got nice legs.Carol had these fat stumpy cellulite things." Tom was amazed he hadn'tnoticed Carol's flaws before now. "You want me to go to a concert.
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