She had grown despondent, despite the absence of the beatings, for as she tried to shift her entire affection to her son, Kyle steadily withdrew. He, of course, blamed her for Allan leaving and somehow convinced himself that she had also somehow manipulated the father into abandoning his son as well. Coupled with his self consciousness about the ugly scar across his face which sometimes made him the butt of cruel jokes at school, it was enough to cause lack of respect and ridicule to turn to abject hatred.While slowing for a stop light, she wondered what might have been if she hadn't been so despondent that day after saying good bye to Kevin. What if, instead of going directly to her bedroom and crying until Kyle arrived home from school, she had remembered what lay in the bathroom wastebasket? Would it have made a difference? But feeling as she did about the baby inside of her, would it, could it, have really ended any differently?She remembered fixing dinner and then making the. She pointed to a frail but handsome looking boy standing in the center of the group. I stared at the picture of my future husband, suddenly overwhelmed with a strange emotion. I had never felt like that before. I didn’t realize then that I had fallen in love with the shy looking boy smiling in the photograph. A month later, we got married in a lavish ceremony. After the marriage, I got my first taste of sex. We couldn’t meet on the first night as the ceremonies continued until dawn. When I was finally taken into our bedroom, my eyes were drooping with exhaustion. Adeel was no better than me. Both of us were dead tired. Adeel hugged me on the bed. He kissed me; we talked in slow whispers for some time until we fell asleep. For the first time in my life, I slept on the side of a man whom, only a day ago, was a complete stranger to me. It was the second night of our marriage, when Adeel made love to me for the first time. I still remember the feeling of utter shame when he began to.
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