"I'm assuming that means you've already lined up a masseuse, then."Stacey jumped on that life raft with both feet. "Yes, and I'd better get cleaned up and head over there or I'll be late."Mike nodded. "That's good. I know how hard you work in this class and just wanted to make sure you weren't neglecting yourself."Stacey thanked him for his concern, then sent him on his way. After spending some time in a whirlpool she finally felt she had relaxed enough to head home to bed. Still, she laid awake for quite a while that night, her thoughts jumping all over the place. She finally dropped off to sleep while thinking about those kind, grey eyes."Hey, Missy, can I talk to you for a moment?"Missy looked up at Stacey with a question in her eyes. "Stace, that sounded almost like a plea. What's up?"Stacey looked down for a moment, and then sighed and looked back up. "I know we aren't supposed to know anything other than medical history on our students, but I think I need to know a little more. She didn't get it but I noticed Allison caught the motion. " ... I found them. I almost blew it and killed us all, but at the last moment that same friend stopped me, and showed me the truth. The truth about what was really happening, what I had been dealing with all along, and I realized that this was not something I could defeat, or stop, or even fight. That to do so would never work, this was a part of myself that I had stuffed into a box and then force-fed all the things that I didn't want to face. When I finally saw the truth, I understood what I had done and that it was my responsibility to make it right."It's so hard to describe what it was like, but fighting it was not the solution, it was me, this child shape was something that I had made ... So I sat down and talked to it, apologized for hurting it, promised it that I wouldn't hurt it any more, and explained what was happening and why we needed to let Shannon go. It hurt, but then so did I, to think of losing her, but I.
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