"Asshole." He turned the rest of the table. "He's a complete shithead."Sean opened my calendar. "Hey Boss, it looks like you're clear that weekend after all." He started typing."I'll just go call Ivan and let him know we need caterers." Yann got up from the table and was dialing as he walked."Traiters." I muttered."So you guys have known each other for a long time." Paul observed."My college roommate." Dave lamented. "Four years with that asshole." If he was that bad, why didn't you move out?" Paul looked confused.I laughed and Dave had to chuckle. "College chicks dig a good sob story." I said. "Dave had a brilliant line. 'I'm afraid to go back to my dorm. My roommate harasses me all the time. I don't feel safe there. Can I stay with you?' The number of women who fell for that!" I snickered. "Of course, it worked better when I came over and rubbed his ass in public." And you talk about me!" Yann exclaimed."Oh he was smooth back in the day." Dave grinned. "I'd be feeling out a girl. “No! It’s a unicorn horn!” laughed Peri. She pointed at the twisty, sparkly headpiece. “See? You wear it on your head!”The others shared another exclamatory chorus of “Oh!” followed immediately by a noticeably less-enthusiastic “Oh”. Even Kara had to take another heavy gulp of her tasty eggnog to hide any evidence of momentary regret.“Would’ve been more fun if it was a strap-on,” sighed Tru.Peri shrugged. “I like unicorns,” she conceded. “Kara said we were supposed to get jokey gifts.”“Well, there’s no doubt that it’s a Peri-type gift,” Fatema agreed.Allyson was about to set aside her present when Kara said, “You have to wear it, Al.”“I do?”“It’s the rules.”“There are rules?” everyone asked. “Here,” Kara said, emphatically slapping the rule sheet onto the coffee table. She pecked it with her finger. “‘Rule one: She who pulls it, uses it.’”Allyson asked, “And if Fatema pulls out a weed-whacker? She has to whack in front of everyone right now?”“I’m certain there isn’t a weed-whacker in.
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