.. sure ... I understand. My name's Roger. Maybe I'll come back in a while for that dance," he smiled.As he walked away, Shelly turned to me with a funny look."What was that all about? What did he want?"I laughed. "Well, my best guess is he thought you were one of the best looking women at the party and he wanted to dance with you." Oh." Have you ever been to a party like this before?" I asked."Uh ... no." So ... all this is new, right?" Yeah ... I guess so. I didn't know what to say. What should I have said?" she asked, looking at me intently."Whatever you felt like. If you wanted to dance with him, just say yes." And that wouldn't bother you? I mean ... I came to the party with you." He just wants to dance with you, Shelly. I don't mind," I replied, not quite truthfully."Oh." She looked almost disappointed.I poured Shelly another glass of wine and she sipped this one a bit less cautiously than her first. She was looking around the dance floor at the couples, paying attention to how. "Mom lit a cigarette and said, "Of course its going to be different,Nancy! You're not a little boy any more. You're full grown woman." But I don't feel like a full grown woman on the inside, Mom. I neverhave, but I thought that would change after the surgery. But nothingchanged except for the way I look. And I get it that you don't thinkjacking-off is a big deal, but it was to me." Sweetheart, you can still masturbate without a penis. We'll get you adildo." But Dr. Girardi said there's a chance I could never have an orgasmagain." That's right, Honey. She did say that and you knew it was one of therisks, but you wanted to do it anyway. You said being a woman is moreimportant than anything. I remember when you said that." Okay. Maybe I did say that. I guess I did. But I'm still scared, Mom.This isn't make-believe anymore. This is for real and I'm scared todeath. I'm not saying I made the wrong decision, but what if I did?What do I do then?" If that's the case, and I hope.
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