For the Paul I knew was still alive inside this tough new shell. Probably the worst aspect of this for me was the fact that I no longer could count on any comfort whatsoever from Paul’s body. His withdrawal from me was absolute, total, so that even on the few nights that he deigned to sleep with me in the apartment, he simply flopped himself into bed and rolled over to face the wall. Nothing I did could revive or encourage him in any way, when I touched him, I could feel his body turn to stone, a rigidity so complete as to be positively frightening. After a few nights of this, interspersed with those terrifying long absences, I even found myself wishing that he were the type of man who could simply objectify women, take advantage of them, use them for their bodies alone, and that he would coldly ravage me, impale me on the sword of his mysterious anger. Never have I come so dangerously close to losing my integrity, the pride and confidence that have kept me alive and triumphant even. . normal, I guess. Did something happen out there that has you upset?”Hailey shifted her gaze from the passenger window to the driver. She wasn’t sure she wanted to get into what she was feeling with Bob Prohl. She wasn’t certain he would understand. Then she wondered if anyone would understand.“It was Friday night,” Hailey admitted. “Uh ... I forgot to get my Depo shot. Do you know what that is?”Bob stayed silent but nodded.“I didn’t think about it until ... afterward,” Hailey continued.Bob nodded again. He was studying to be a health and physical education teacher. He had a firm knowledge of reproduction and birth control devices. He also lived in a house with three women and he was acutely aware of their menstrual cycles – as much as it pained him to admit that to himself.“Do you think you might be... ?” he asked in a calm voice.“No, I made sure I wasn’t,” Hailey answered. Unlike Bob’s, her voice quaked when she answered.“You made sure?” Bob asked. “How?”“Plan-B,” Hailey said..
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