It was the longest walk I had made since the day before, when I had run away from my apartment to begin this ridiculous charade. I say ridiculous because I felt ridiculous. My false breasts were bouncing slightly, warning me of their presence on my chest. In trying to minimise the feeling I pushed my chest forwards against the restriction of the bra. It seemed to work, and I discovered that smaller steps, especially on tiptoe, helped. I discovered that I was copying Helen's walk, though I wasn't wearing a restrictive uniform skirt or heels. It worked, and I found I didn't have to think about it to keep it up. Fortunately nobody saw me performing in this way, as there seemed to be nobody else walking about the small hospital. I remembered Helen saying that most patients here preferred to keep to the rooms because of the type of injury they were usually here for. In the theatre there was only one other man, a doctor, by his clothing. He was already dressed for surgery, masked. Wearing a robe adjacent to the bed, I went looking for him. Raj was standing in the balcony staring into the darkness of the sky.He was lost in his thoughts when I interrupted him,“Hey! Are you alright?” I asked whispering in his ear while hugging him from behind. He pulled me to the side holding my hand and looked at me.“Why did you say that, the ‘L’ word?” He asked, in a disturbed upset voice.“I am sorry! I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking straight and accidentally those words came out in the heat of the moment. I am really so… ” I rushed with all these words in panic state trying to fix the situation. He stopped me then we pulled up the chairs which were there and sat down. I was about to continue with my clarification as I didn’t want to end this relationship or the arrangement we have. ‘Arrangement’ that’s what Raj called it. He then looked into my eyes and said,“Reeti, it’s okay. You need not give any justification. Just answer me this, do you really mean it, what you said.
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