His first deployment after we got married lasted about six months and it was agony. Ben’s enlistment was winding down, and his next deployment, as I said, was supposed to be his last. And it was, I guess. If you had thrust your hand into my chest by brute force and just ripped my heart out, that would have hurt less than what I felt when I learned Ben was gone. All of a sudden, I was a twenty-five-year-old widow. For weeks I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Even now at times and without warning my chest will tighten, my lungs stop working, and the enormous hole inside me overwhelms everything. So here I am, alone in a queen-sized bed made for two. I have my blankets on (and nothing else), and like Ishmael, I feel warm on this cold night. But that doesn’t cancel out the aching emptiness that never seems to leave me anymore. I have stacked up three or four pillows so I’m kind of sitting up. Thinking maybe it’s time to reread Moby Dick, because…why not? After a few chapters, sleep is. Still, the sight of her had triggered memories of her naked body draped across his own, his cock enveloped in her tight sheath as she gasped in pleasure. How had she been able to act so naturally when they were together? She had seemed so honest about wanting both him and his body — to the extent of having strong feelings for him. He remembered the red blush that had spread across her skin as she screamed out her release and kissed his mouth so sweetly. How could anyone be such a good actress? To make him believe so wholeheartedly that she cared for him just as much as he cared for her. Maybe Warren was right after all? Maybe there were some genuine feelings there after all? If that were the case, he needed to change tactic if he was ever going to find the correct answer. Right now she was as testy as ever and even though his body was ready for some hard fucking, he doubted she would indulge him. But maybe he could persuade her the same way she had persuaded him? H’mmn, that was a.
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