" I bowed my head to the ground. "I honor the man who made Papa who he is - just as I honored your father." Internally, I winced; I promised Uncle Moke I wouldn't tell Father about that particular field trip.I expected Father to rain fire and brimstone on me. I was defying him publicly. He'd never struck me, but surely this would be the moment.Instead, when I risked a glance over my shoulder, he was looking at me oddly. I couldn't tell if he was angry, amused, confused, dismayed or something else. Then he scowled at me. "Well, get on with it. Even for me, Masa will not hold a dinner reservation indefinitely."On the plane - a private Kaiba jet in which he and I were virtually the only passengers - he finally spoke to me about it."Your philosophy is sound in theory; however, your underlying assumption is incorrect." I stared at him blankly trying to figure out what philosophy he meant. "Joey did not want you." Wha-?" At the gravesite. You said that perhaps Joey would not have wanted you. I didn't wantto hear the answer, but I knew I had no choice. Why is it so importantif I act like a girl or a boy? Won't the male lessons help me sortthings out?"I don't know," said Helen, trying to avoid answering the question."Helen, I can't help you and David if you both aren't truthful toyourselves and to me. You know how you feel, don't you." Okay, David acts more like a girl than he did before Paris," admittedHelen. "He's no different from Jayne in the way he acts." And you love him as much as you loved Jayne?" Yes." Then if he became more male, and less like Jayne, would you find itharder to love him?" No...yes...oh I don't know," said Helen near tears. "I just don't know.I hope I love him just as much."Helen stopped and I pulled her into my arms. All my worst fears had beenrealised. I might have been dressed as David, but I was just Jayne inmale clothes. I was a fake man."I want David to be happy," said Helen. "He wants to be more like David.It wouldn't be fair on.
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