It was pretty close to the opposite of arousal. In this case I had come into Doctor Moore’s office prepared to discuss and explore my sex life in very intimate detail—it was on my mind. In the car on the way over and even in the waiting room before Rachel had given me the clipboard I had been rehearsing the answers to questions that I suspected would crop up.Thinking about past sexual encounters in minute detail had taken a toll.When the doctor reached the top where the outer lips came back together to form my mons, a noise escaped my throat and the knot dropped another inch or two. It was now right at the top of my crease.“You’re doing great,” she complimented. “Nice deep breaths…”Her voice was softer not as assured as before. I was tempted to look down at her but I kept my eyes closed.“I’m going to start the inner ones now,” she warned as she’d promised to do.I felt her grip the thinnest part of my inner lips about an inch from my anus. The sphincter twitched in reaction to the. My mother recovered from her fright and replied: “Oh, Linda, he hasn’t finished his homework and he hasn’t eaten his meal. Let him help you tomorrow.” Linda agreed and told me in loud tones not to forget the appointment and left. I did not turn my head to see my mother. The reappearance of Linda and her invitation excited me. About fifteen minutes later I heard my mother bolting the front door. Then a moment or two later I felt my mother taking her place next to me. “I don’t understand you. You’re no more a baby.” I did not turn to look at her or give reply. I could feel her warm breath falling on my neck and her large breasts were touching my back. A few seconds passed in silence. “I’ll give milk now and no more.” Her reply did not satisfy me. I want to nurse at her breasts whenever I had the desire to nurse.I made it explicitly clear to her what’s on my mind: “I want now. I want tomorrow. And I want to drink whenever I want your milk.”My mother said: “You are mad!” “No.”“You can.
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